New Years Day 2010

Last Year was my Year of Restoration, the list I created is below along with the resolutions that occured in 2009


1. Restoring my relationship with God - living the life I believe -CONTINUAL PROCESS
2. Restoring my career that utilizes my education, talents, gifts and drive to travel the world to make a positive impact for change - I AM IN GRADUATE SCHOOL TO ASSIST IN POSITIONING ME TO FULFILL THIS
3. Restoring my status to loving wife, friend, life companion to a man that is a Christian, Adventist, leader, honorable, respectful and knows how to love me best - THE LORD IS WORKING ON IT
4. Restoring my finances to position me to return in tithes and offering what I currently make in less than five years - FINISHING MY DEGREE WILL ASSIST IN THIS FULFULLMENT
5. Restoring me to a level of maturity that accepts people as they are and respecting their desire to be different - I THINK I HAVE

Now as for 2010 I have to repeat those listed above with continued emphasis on my relationship with God and financial stability where the only thing I owe any man is love. Debt free is the goal. I will add I am would like to have secured a consistent weight goal of 140 pounds with a regular weekly exercise routine that I hope will include biking. I think that is it. I will recap next year this time.

Sabbath Lesson For Me

Well it is the Sabbath after Christmas and of course we had a Christmas themed sermon. I unfortunatly did not focus on it at all. Whenever I am at church and bored or distracted by my surrounding or distracted from my own thoughts I start to read the Bible to bring my mind back into a state of worship in God's Sanctuary. Today was no different. I starting reading in Luke in part directed by the fact that is where the day's text came from however i went pass the Luke 2 Christmas text and went on to read Luke 11:13 which states "if ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your chidren: how much more shall your heavely Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask Him."

My take away from this text today reminded me of what I put in my Christmas letter. I mentioned not getting the one gift I wanted when in actuality I did get it and have had it a while. I know you are thinking I am talking about the gift of Christ sacrifice on the cross, I realize that and am undoubtedly thankful however that is not what I am talking about. God has given me the gift and just because I was not able to have it on Christmas Day as the world would say I should I had it all the previous 364 give or take a few days of 2009. So weighed properly and in perspective I think I am good, I am great!!!

My Christmast Letter 2009

This year started off with me attending the inauguration of the 44th president of the United States ---Barrack Obama. I had the honor of attending it with the man that I am now dating whom I will call from this point on Sunflowers per his request to remain anonymous to the world wide web. I was in the throng of thousands of people it was my chance to be a part of an historic moment in American History and Global Politics – I was humbled to be alive to witness this moment, Thank you Father.

Spring came and I ushered in my 33rd birthday at home with mom, Luther, Rodrecus, his fiancée Katrina and Sunflowers. Oh and Patches, the world’s best cocker spaniel. In the spring I also received acceptance into Morehouse School of Medicine Master of Public Health Program. The day I received the letter I got to share the moment with Sunflowers. We officially started dating in May give or take and Katrina became my sister-in-law as well.

I excitedly went through the summer waiting in expectation for the school year to start. School started in August. I am on the Epidemiology track meaning in one more year I will be an epidemiologist. What is an Epidemiologist? It is and I will soon be a scientist who studies the outbreak, frequency, distribution, and control of communicable diseases. And you know me those studies will be global, preferably on the continent of Africa.

My grandmother died in September. I was thankful to have had the opportunity to see her for her birthday in August and that Sunflowers was able to accompany me. I wanted him to meet her. It meant a lot to me then and even more now that she is gone. She left some pretty intelligent, educated, and respectful children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. May our daily lives speak to the work she put into each of us and may that be her legacy.

God has been awesome to me. He allowed me to gracefully finish my first semester with a 3.6 GPA, maintain my job and keep Sunflowers happily engaged. The last one is kind of a nice bonus. God is pretty cool about giving us not only what we ask for but sometimes just out of His sheer love for us, He gives us what we do not ask for.

It is the week of Christmas. I am not where I had planned to be and it just really hit me that I will not get the only thing I wanted for Christmas. I attempt to comfort myself with knowing that I must be where God would have me to be at this moment and enduring what He knows I can handle. It has taken and will probably continue to take a few (really a lot of bo hooing) tears, mental consultations and letting go to realize that however I am trying. I am thankful for the comfort that God brings and I will be thankful when this time has passed.

Over the course of the year I have had friends and family edit my interest letter for graduate school, reassure me of the calling God has on my life, pray for and with me and to just listen to me. They have all been very precious to me and for that I am thankful. I look forward to a new year of great possibilities, growth in myself spiritually and mentally and the privilege to share it all with people whom I get to share my gift of love to and whom get to share their gift of love to me.

First Semester at MSM Completed Fall 2009

Well I have officially completed my first semester at Morehouse School of Medicine in the Master's of Public Health Program.

My goal was to get all A's however my report card reflects the following

A Fundamentals of Public Health
A- Epidemiology
A- Chronic Disease Epidemiology
B Statistical Computer Methods

I know you are thinking why not solid A's in the Epi courses since that is my end goal to be an Epidemiologist well what excuses can I give life happened. I am working full time and going to school full time so I find comfort in that. Now as for the B, what can I say I can trully say I did my best. It was very difficult however I do recognize that I need to improve on my SAS and SPSS abilities. I am trying to get a practicum that will focus on that skill development. Stay tuned I should have some info on that in April/May. I am excited about that.

I am now on a break till January 4th. I am trully enjoying it. I am actually have the chance to do a little cleaning and time for just me and Patches. I am taking it all in until then!!!

Sabbath Lesson For Me

Well today I went to Berean and Pastor Byrd spoke and the title of his sermon was "Raising Another Man's Baby." The premise coming from Matthew 1 and the story of Joseph and Mary and Jesus being another man's (God's) baby. He related it back to the point that there are a lot of children that need to be raised. You and I need to do it in an effort to help them become a better person. He brought out a news story of a lady living the American dream (married, 2 1/2 kids and a dog) and how it was taken away when some three young boys less than 17 years old broke into her house killed her husband an violated her daugther and traumatized her. The lady went through the trial and pleaded against the death penalty for these young men and visited them to learn of their story and how one of them was just looking for someone to look up to and how he ended up with the wrong group of people and ended up at her house. And she made the statment in the story if only someone had taken on the responsiblity to raise another man's baby.

I thought the sermone was worthy of note and thus have shared it with you. I pray that I and you take it upon ourselves to guide, direct and love the young people that we come in contact with.

Thanksgiving 2009

As I thought about this post I had mixed emotions that I am trying to decipher how to express.

My holiday weekend started Wednesday. I kept my nephew for the day which was an adventure and tiresome.

Thursday/Thanksgiving.
Patches (my dog) and I went to my mom and Luther's for breakfast. It was a pleasant family time with just the three of us. My brother was off with his in-laws. In the midst of the day I sent and received text messages from friends saying Happy Thanksgiving. It was nice. I had a great Thanksgiving dinner with family and did not make a thing well I did make sugar cookies per request but that was minor since in the past I have cooked an entire Thanksgiving meal. I think school and working took all of my energy, only thing I wanted to do was just mingle, eat and leave. and that is exactly what I did. I came home and chatted with two long time friends. I forgot to mention that at dinner we went around asking what we were thankful for and the first thing that came to mind was the fact that I have some great, amazing friends. There was a time in my life were I did not have any friends. I prayed that God would send me just one and HE sent me SEVERAL, that is just how awesome my God is, He blesses us above and beyond what we could even ask, think or imagine!!!. I am crying now just thinking about His blessing so lets move on to Friday

Friday
I thought I was going to go to the outlet at midnight with a friend who wanted to go shopping for his house and get all the great deals. At midnight he was otherwise occupied and I was kind of thankful because I was sleepy and really was not to feeling the crowds but oh at 8 he was ready and came knocking on my door and I said sure lets go. Off we went not too extraordinary I bought the 2nd of 3 parts of the desk I have been acquiring from Pottery Barn Outlet and a skirt that was the only significant purchase. He was able to get some stuff for his house. I came back and road out to my brother's for our annual Friday night dinner. It was ok, they had some additional quest of his wife's family.

Sabbath/Saturday
I went to church. I was blessed most by the study of the sabbath school lesson. I was blessed least by the political campaigning facilitated by the pastor. I am still trying decipher how I feel about that but at the moment I am disappointed. In the evening I had the opportunity to go out to dinner and celebrate the birthday of one of those friends I mentioned earlier along with her sisters and some more friends. We had a nice time.

Sunday/today
I had the opportunity to rest at little before heading to PB. Work was uneventful as always I would have loved a massage upon my return home however I just did my little foot and toe stretches that will do the trick until I have a personal massage therapist. And I am now writing this post.

That is all. I hope each of had a great Thanksgiving with true friends and family and always remember to be thankful each day you have breath it means God still has a plan for your life and looking forward to you fulfilling it!!!!!

This line is in addition to my original post because I got a phone call from someone whose name is still Sunflowers to me just after I published this post which is pretty amazing because the exact same thing happend last year.

New Hair Cut

My mom and I went to the Salon Nede and got our hair done today. For the first time in my adult life I actually got my hair cut in an actual style. A person of significance identified what I normally get as a trim not a cut/style. Due to the fact that I was contemplating getting a significant trim I decided to get my hair cut in an actual style hence the picture. My mom joined in this adventure and got a cut as well.

Sabbath Lesson for me

okay let me say that it is 10:42 pm and I specifically turned my computer back on to post this on my blog.

Today my best friend Tara was in town with her husband and kids as part of an event at my church. After church and dinner she and her daughters came over.

We are all sitting in the living room and Tara decides to give her oldest daughter McKenzie a lesson in fractions. She first asked what is the fraction of living things in the room that is a dog, referring to my dog Patches. So I decide to ask her what is the fraction of art work on the wall that was done by me. Let me give a side note of the fact that in my living room I have a framed chalk board that I write scriptures, inspirational notes or greetings to visitors weekly. Today on the board it stated Father, let the words my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable (found in Psalms 19:14). I have one forest painting that I painted, a painting that I brought from Tanzania and the chalk board. I ask McKenzie about the chalk board, her mom answers and says that is not art and McKenzie states with confidence that God's word is art. And then I say wow that is deep. I asked her to write in the board and I am thus sharing that with you.

That was my Sabbath lesson not the quote but the innocence of a child. I am thankful for a friend, mother, person raising their children to have a relationship with God, a knowledge, respect and love of God. When I am in some settings it saddens me to see parents attempting to raise their children without that, it concerns me of what they will one day become. Kudos to great parents who know the greatest teacher is God and his text book is the BIBLE!!!

Update on School

Well just to give an update I had mid term exams about two weeks ago. I received my grades and to date I have two A's and two B's. My goals is all A's. Stay tuned!!!. I am still excited about pursuing my MPH and the opportunities that it will prayfully open to me.

A few weeks ago I decided to investigate every division at the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) that I would want to work for and email the person that heads the particular division of interest. Of the 20 people I emailed 10 emailed me back and provided input, referral or just encouragement. As I result I also had the honor of speaking with the head of a division of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) on yesterday and it was an amazing conversation. I was very appreciative that he took the time and provided some very insightful information that will guide my professional career. It affirmed in me that their are people in the world and in higher level position in corporations and organization that enjoy mentoring others. Tey realize they will not always hold the position they have and want to ensure that the individuals that follow them are as prepared and equiped to build upon what they have established and develop it even further.

Thank you Father for using your people to aid and direct me!!!

Lo-Rain

A little over a week ago an event happened that established the following belief in me:

Communication and follow-thru on your word is how trust is attained and maintained in all relationships.

Convocation at Morehouse School of Medicine

Today was the convocation at Morehouse School of Medicine. It was a very nice ceremony. Where can I begin, well first my mom and a man of significance to me went with me. I thought it was very nice of them to come and share in this moment in my life. I was awarded an academic scholarship which required me going on the stage and doing photo op with the Dean, being the center of attention for any amount of time is always something I shun. I only went to my undergraduate graduation because my mom paid the tuition it was more her moment than mine. Overall I enjoyed being in the presence of future doctors and learning of their individual achievements to date in their field. Dr. David Satcher spoke and he was awesome. He said a number of profound things that were really encouraging and touching. He stated the quote below that I thought was worthy of sharing;

The tragedy of life doesn't lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach. It isn't a calamity to die with dreams unfulfilled but it is a calamity not to dream. by Benjamin E. Mays

I had a great day and I thought I would share it!

Washington Post Article Noteworthy Quote

The following is a quote from an article by Eugene Robinson in the Washington Post:

"It's true that politics is the art of the possible, but it's also true that great leaders expand the scope of possibility...Giving up on the public option might be expedient. But we didn't elect Obama to be an expedient president. We elected him to be a great one. "


The link to the complete article is below:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/08/17/AR2009081702178.html?referrer=facebook

Notes from a Sabbath Sermon on Men and Women

A few sabbaths ago we had a guest speaker and he stated the followed that I thought was noteworthy to share

Women marry men hoping they will change, men marry women hoping they will not change.

Monthly Books Review Quote

I usually try to read a book a month and in July I finished reading Sarah's Key by Titiana DeRosnay. In the book I read the following quote and thought I would share it

"The truth is harder than ignorance" page 124

By the way I am a little off track for August being in school and having lots of reading. I started reading Native Son by Richard Wright but I not not finished. I anticipate finishing it over the weekend. I already have my next book lined up - Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell. Oh and on a side note I believe everyone should read Native Son it should be listed along mandatory readings such as Moby Dick and the Iliad.

First Week in MPH Program at Morehouse School of Medicine

Well I have completed my first week at Morehouse in their MPH program. It looks like it is going to be a great semester. I had the opportunity to meet a number of people and learn a few things about public health and continue to be confirmed about my track focus of epidemiology. Being in a scholastic environment is always eye opening to me. I actually enjoy school. I am already looking forward to going to get my doctorate when I turn 40. My top school as of today is Loma Linda University. I figured I started my secondary education at an Seventh-day Adventist institution it might be a good idea to have a finale at one as well.

I would be negligent if I did not mention that this past weekend I visited my grandmother in Notasulga, Alamama (about 10 miles from Tuskegee, AL) as she celebrated her 80something birthday. It as nice to be around cousins, aunts and uncles. I took at person of significance along with me and he always amazes me how is able to be right at home where ever he finds himself. It is a trait I hope will gradually rub off on me. After visiting with my grandmother we visited my mom's sisters and my uncle. It was a nice visit. My uncle is a Vietnam veteran and for the first time in my life he talked about his experience and I had the opportunity to thank him for his service to our country as I do to all the service men and women I encounter in my life. I never had the opportunity to thank my uncle because it had always been something we did not discuss. I felt honored that he felt comfortable enough to talk about it now with me. We also talked about the horses he has raised and continues to raises. He has some amazing stories that had us laughing for a long time and into the future as I think of them now.

Also on Friday , I realize i am writing this blog backwards sorry but I am sure you will get it. I had dinner at my brother and his wife's house. He cooked dinner for us and I was reminded that I very proud of him and I love him. I actually called him today and told him that.

Okay that is it for now. I am going to try to be more diligent on my post from now on as I am sure I will have more to share as I will be going to school full time, working full time and enjoying an awesome relationships with friends and family and one person of extra special significance! Stay tuned!

My 4th of July

Well for the fourth of July I decided to tag along with my dad to see my grandmother (his mom). We had a pleasant trip down. I got to spend some one on one time with my grandmother whose health is declining. I also brought along my dog, who has visited her numerous times before and seems to relax her. My aunt who lives close to my grandmother came over and comes in the house and sees Patches (my dog) and starts cursing and yelling at me to get this dog out of my grandmother's house. I am just in shock, thinking is she joking, is she serious. I am just in a state of temporary shock. I take Patches outside.

After I get over my disbelief I return to the house and inform my aunt that I would appreciate it she never spoke to me like that again, I assured her that I am not a child and do not appreciate being spoken to like one (and honestly I would not like child to be spoken to the way I was, side issue I know). I felt relieved once I said that to her but felt crushed in a sense that I would even need to. I do not curse, I do not argue, I do not yell to reprimand ( I relent most often because I dislike discord) and had she just said Denise can you put Patches outside I may have said why since this is my Grandmother's house and she does not have an issue with Patches and that is the most important person but I would have relented but to curse and raise your voice to me hurts me to my inner core.

This experience reminded me why I make what I call "appearances" around my family. If I make an appearance more than twice a year it is normally to much. I just saw most of my dad's side last weekend at my cousins wedding. Hence to much and then I will definitely attend my grandmother birthday party in August, I would have exceeded my max in just two months. Lets pray now!

Family tend to see you as the child you once were and not the adult you now are.

My Cousin's Wedding

Okay, well let's give background. I was asked to be in the wedding months/a year ago. Of course I said yes. I wanted to celebrate this occasion in my cousin's life. I knew buying a dress and shoes were inevitable. and I purchased both items that I will never wear again without complaint. A couple of weeks ago I was informed that I would not be brining a guest(not that I had not planned on bringing one but that I would not be bringing one). The rational for that was that I am in the wedding and would not have time to entertain a guest. Unless I was to marry my guest before the wedding they would remain uninvited. I kind of thought it all as a joke. But we all know Brides can be irrational. So I just said ok.I got an itinerary a week before the wedding informing me of my need to get a French pedicure and manicure and that jewelry would be provided to wear for the wedding. The jewelry statement did not mean anything to me since for over 20 years I have not worn and I would kind of think my cousin would have known that -- stay tuned. On Thursday or Friday, my dad informed me that my step brother would not be attending, so you know me in my rational thinking I thought well great that means my guest can come. For my cousin that is not what that meant. She was opposed. So I just said okay. I am so sorry did not intend to stress her out. On Friday I attend the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner. I am all compliments, smiles and helpfulness to celebrate her big day. At the rehearsal dinner we are given little bags with what I would assume is thank you gifts for being in the wedding. Included in my bag is a mirror compact with my initials on it and a pearl necklace and pearl earring. Those last two things were a bit of a surprise since as you recall from earlier I have not worn jewelry in over 20 years. So I mention to my aunt how should I address this to minimize the stress on my cousin/the bride. She states along with others at the table why don't you just wear it. I say no I do not wear jewelry>>> side note why do people try to tell you to do something that you inform them that you do not do<<<< Father help me respect people decisions. Why can't we respect people's choice without trying to convince them otherwise (understandable in situations where they have potential to harm themselves or others it is warranted). My aunt goes on to say just do not wear it.On the grand wedding day of June 27th. The wedding is nice. I do not fall and actually hold up in the heals. The 30 minutes of practicing everyday the week before paid off. All in an effort to celebrate her day. I am social, cordial and friendly. I have to add I did disappear in the midst of the reception because I found out I had a flat tire. I would share that story but this post has gotten long enough. My dad changes it and I return to socialize for a while and depart home to get some much needed rest.On Sunday afternoon, day after my cousin's wedding at exactly 1:57 pm my cousin sends me a text message stating “I was just informed that you did not wear jewelry which you did not tell me and they didn't want to upset me yesterday (her wedding day). I would like my jewelry back please." Now imagine my surprise to receive this text. I first just had to laugh seriously laugh. Wow she thought of me the day after her wedding and that she wants the jewelry back that she gave me as a gift. Now let me further analyze her text. I did not inform her that I did not wear jewelry. Let's see since it was not a recent decision of mine it would be safe to assume I thought she would know that. Second they (meaning her mom) did not want to upset her on her wedding day. My decision 20 years ago not to wear jewelry would upset her. uhmmmmmmmmmm. Upset about a choice I made indifferent of your wedding. I just have to say uhmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. She wants the jewelry back. Well since I am not going to wear it that seems kind of reasonable however it was still a gift that I would probably re gift or return to some how recoup the money I spent on the bridesmaid dress, the shoes, my hair, the manicure, the pedicure, the gas back and forth uhmmmmmmmmmmm. However in response to her text I just say OK. Sometimes you just have to say OK.

End of June

I just finished reviewing my blog and I realized I have not posted since early May. I am going to try to catch up in this post.

Well a great matriarch of Seventh-day Adventist music died on June 11th. Her name is Alma Montgomery Blackmon. I had the opportunity to have conversations with her many times over the past twenty years and I never told her how much I appreciated her ability to conduct, arrange and perform musical programs with an air of reverence and respect. I regret that.

I also regret I never had to her as a voice coach. I always said to myself that once I was engaged I would have her teach me voice so i could sing on Only God Could Love You More to my husband on my wedding day. Since my official wedding day has not happened and she is no longer with us the chances of that sung being sang by me is less likely now.

I went to Orangeburg, SC two weeks ago with a friend for the South Atlantic Conference Campmeeting. It was nice. We had musical guest Cece Winans. She is such a beautiful person inside and out. Her personality exudes genuineness. I was definitely ministered to.

I have decided to attend Morehouse School of Medicine. I kind of decided that (unconciously) the moment I applied. I figure it was between Emory and Morehouse and if I was going to shell out over $20,000 for my MPH, I should make sure the check is going to a school that one is good ( I would not have applied otherwise), has great networking opportunities and that historically supports and performs research on people like me - an African American and others from under represented backgrounds and educates the public and thus Morehouse has been chosen. I look forward to joining the ranks of it disguished alumni. I am sure I will have lot to blog on over the next two years in that regard.

This weekend I have my cousins wedding. I will blog about that on Monday however the logistics of it all has already started. Stay tuned!!!

Life Lesson

I just finished having a staff meeting at my job and our COO mentioned this quote that I had never heard by Mark Twain and I thought I would share it;


“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.”
by Mark Twain

I thought this was a great quote. As I have travelled I can see how my world view has expanded and my appreciation and respect for others not like me has deepened.

Also at the staff meeting my former boss at my current job was at our staff meeting to be apart of honoring a staff person that has been with the organization for 20 years. She had been here 19 before she left. She made the comment of herself that she had been at the organization ( am not mentioning because I still work here and if you know me you know the organization or you can google it) way to long and she said I had too. I did not take it negatively I appreciate her recognizing my potential and knowing I have more to contribute. It was kind of an affirmation. Thanks Father for allowing others to see Your calling on my life is more!!!!

God's Answers Yes and No

Last Sabbath the pastor spoke on blessings. One of the main points I have been meaning to blog since last sabbath was my notes on blessings. We wonder sometimes why GOD may say NO to our petition for a house, a job, or a spouse. We sometimes have the misconception that GOD has not answered us because He did not say yes but when in actuality He has, it was just not what we necessarily wanted or expected. I think about the various things in my life and I can honestly say thank you Lord for not granting me my petition as I had asked. As I review my petitions I see that if GOD had answered the way I wanted I would be married to an unfaithful husband, I would be at another job and not headed to get my MPH which will launch me to were the LORD desires me to position me for greatness ( I decided today I want to be a Fulbright Scholar along with my long time ambition of being a MacArthur Genuis Award Winner), and I would not have my house, to name a few. So the overall purpose of this post is to say that GOD's blessing can be YES or NO

Prayer Meeting

I attended Prayer Meeting last night and it was really good. I was blessed before the pastor got totally into the message. He recalled the story of Lot in the Bible. Genesis 19 specifically talks about how the angel of God told Lot and his family to leave Sodom and not to look back. Lot's wife looked back and was turned into a pillar of salt. She looked back at the past and what was there and was not focused on where God was leading them - to a better place.

I reflected on this and I thought about the people and places I have left behind for my good and how I have sometimes looked back and even gone back to my own detriment. Lord forgive me. I always say flippantly that I left to leave however I feel sometimes if I am enticed enough I do return. In light of me having my eyes opened Lord I commit to really leaving and letting go of those people and places that seem tempt me against your will. Give me the strength and encouragement to know that you are leading me to higher ground!

My 33rd Birthday

I celebrated by 33rd birthday three days ago (April 2nd). It was pretty uneventful nothing happened as planned however at the same time it turned out perfect. I was with my family and a good friend we had dinner at my house and played Scrabble and laughed a lot. I enjoy the company of great freinds and famly any day over the superficial gathering of so called friend and family you never speak to.

I would be remissed if I did not share the events of the last few days. I received a text message from my brother on Saturday/Sabbath morning informing me that he and his girlfriend got married yesterday (April 3rd). I could only respond oh wow congrats. I realized that if he cared what I thought he would have shared it with me before and if he respected me as a sister he would have at least had the courtesy to tell me over the phone if not face to face and at the same time I realized that his decision not to share it with me could be result of the value he places on my opinion and/or influence and by withholding the information no opinion/influence could be made. Either way what's done is done. I can only pray it is happily ever after and until death.

Documenting this Moment!!!

My friend Joseph and I wanted to document this day (actually it was two days ago). We recapped the last ten years of our friendship and the various events that have shaped our friendship, our careers and our personal lives.

Our friendship has spanned him moving from Nacogodoches, TX to Orlando, Fl to Portland,OR to where he now resides in Baltimore, MD. It has covered me from roommates with Jason and Preston to living in Ethiopia for the summer to moving back to Atlanta to being roommates with Mi to moving to Washington, DC and being roommates with my Grey (my first deaf roommate) to moving to Tanzania getting married returning to the states/Atlanta getting divorced and finally living on my own in my first solo apartment and then buying my first house. Friends always knew never to write our address in their address book in pen because it would change after a while. Then their came the Iphone and the Blackberry!

We started together at Stephen F. Austin State University and departed at seperate times and have taken vastly different routes. I left SFASU knowing my goals of being in the Foreign Service and Joseph left because he was in LOVE and endeavored on his career path as one of the best psychotherapist in Baltimore in my opinion. I have not utilized his services however I suspect he is great because of his passion and concern for his patients. I am still on my path of being in the Foreign Service. I have not gotten in the door yet however I am confident it will happen in God's time not mine. I was talking to the best Psychologist on earth yesterday and I made the statement that the Lord is going to restore me and he made the observation that God has. The way he knows HE has it that I know what I want to do and I am moving towards it. Because when I came back to Tanzania I was in such an abyss but now I am awake and excited and that is a restoration to be proud of. I had to smile about that. He was right!!

As for our personal lives Joseph has been with the person he was in LOVE since Texas the whole time until recently. He is in the process of finding himself however I feel he will inevitably end up where he started. As for me my relationships I have spunned dating a man 20 years my senior, then a mechanic who I found out later was married ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh living in Atlanta I tell you, dating and marrying and divorcing my husband, then meeting and dating a man with a child a first for me, he was a teacher an attraction that is deeper to me then saying you have a credit score of 800 and he could speak to me without words and now I am in the waiting place. Read Dr. Seus Oh the Places You'll Go to understand that more!

Natalie Cole

I worked at Pottery Barn today and Natalie Cole was there to sign her CD. FYI Pottery Barn is not a music store. It sells home funishing and accessories as its core business. I had a not so positive experience with the whole will you sign my CD epxerience. I only wanted to get some signed for friends who are fans. I had written my personal message on stick notes on each CD. I went up to her and gave her the covers and the notes. She was about to start and I was going to tell her I was praying for her health when her publicist came and told me to step aside while he edited my notes to just the names of the people they were to go to. He was so rude, had I not opened the CD wrapper I would have returned the CD's to the store. One of my pet peaves is that I never spend my money at stores or on people who do not respect me. However I endured and I got the CD signed in the most impersonal way. And then they had the nerve to ask me if I wanted a picture with her and I said no I do not. I do not know if she heard me but honestly I did not want a picture with her. Her publicist was rude/mean to me. Why would I want a picture with someone who allows her staff to be disrespectful to me. I walked away from this experience torn. Was I wrong to say no the pciture? Was I wrong to feel that that the publicist was rude. I was the the fith to the last peron is line, she was probably tired? Right. But then as I reflected on it I just felt sad for her and people that go gu gu for ga ga over such people. Sad for her because she is currently in need of a kidney transplant and has dialysis three times a week. Either she needs the money from such events or her self esteem is in need of the attention she receive. Sad for the people who are gu gu for ga ga in that there are so many more people who have made more substantial contributions to the world such as Gandhi's peace movement, Bill and Melinda Gates and the Gates foundation's contribution to AIDS research and public health in resource poor countries or the winner of the MacArthus genius award winner.

Quotes by George Washington Carver

There is no short cut to achievement. Life requires thorough preparation - veneer isn't worth anything.

When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.

Ninety-nine percent of the failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses.

How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in your life you will have been all of these.

Education is the key to unlock the golden door of freedom.

Quotable Quote

I was talking with my stepfather and his assessment of the inauguration festivities of our first African American President he said:

"It was almost as if the United States did not have a color line."

I thought that statement was pretty profound and I thought I would share it with the world!

Inauguration of the 44th President of the United States

For the past few days I have had the privilege to be in Washington, DC to witness the swearing in of the first African American President of the United States-Barrack Obama. I am thankful to be alive to witness this grand event!!!

I also was able to share this moment in history with a great friend. These are some pictures from our time in DC.

New Year 2009 - Year of Restoration

Well today is Thursday, January 1, 2009 - The start of my year of RESTORATION

1. Restoring my relationship with God - living the life I believe
2. Restoring my career that utilizes my education, talents, gifts and drive to travel the world to make a positive impact for change
3. Restoring my status to loving wife, friend, life companion to a man that is a Christian, Adventist, leader, honorable, respectful and knows how to love me best
4. Restoring my finances to position me to return in tithes and offering what I currently make in less than five years
5. Restoring me to a level of maturity that accepts people as they are and respecting their desire to be different

Heavenly Father please fulfill my restoration request not to bring any glory to me but that people can see your glory in me and I can point them to the cross that saves in Christ name AMEN!

Christmas 2008

well well well. The day is essentially over. I only wanted to capture my attempt at making a gingerbread house for the center piece for our holiday brunch. The only pieces to survive were the gingerbread men thus they have survived to be documented on this blog!!!

My Perspective on the Commercialization of Christmas!!

I officially hate the commercialization of Christmas and the environmentally imposed pressure that you must buy people tangible gifts. I have decided after this Christmas in no matter what state I find myself financially I will not participate in it. At most I will distribute cards or letters that update peopele on my life. I receive such a letter every year from a couple and look forward to receiving it to see what is knew is their lives. The letter is so genuine and honest, I am touched.

People that I love and care about will and do receive gifts from me all year round. It is the priceless gifts that are the most memorable. I reivew this year and think of the awesome gifts my friends and family have given me: prayer as I took the GRE, edits of my personal statement and resume, advice on my car and personal life, money however the most important has been their time and attention. Those are the most valuable gifts on earth to me. I want to thank each of them for that and I pray it continues into the new year!

Thanksgiving Weekend

I felt as if I should memorialize this weekend somehow. So I figured I should write something to remember this time next year and see what is changed my life. Well lets see. Thanksgiving Day my mom and Luther came over. We ate together and I went to the movies later that evening solo. Which is kind of empowering. This weekend I had a breakthrough in applying for a cool job with the Department of Health and Human Services. Thanks to my heavenly Father for opening my eyes. I just finished working on my personal statement for Emory. I sent it over to a friend of mine who insisted on editing it. I actually appreciated his eagerness to do. My friends are always amazing me. I kind of wanted to go shopping for the after Thanksgiving rush but then thought better of it because I do not really NEED anything material. I just want stuff. I tend to NEED stuff that I cannot by and thankfully the stuff I NEED is not for sell. I went to the party of the year to celebrate a friends birthday. It was cool to see people I went to high school and college with. We have all grown up and we seem to have grown up to be someone our parents are proud of.

I just received a phone call that I have been waiting on for while and his name is still SUNFLOWERS to me!!

FYI - Our World

Did you know?

Girls' education provides perhaps the single highest return on investment in the developing world.
Educated girls tend to marry later
They are better paid in the workplace
They have fewer, healthier children
They are more likely to send their own children to school
They are better able to protect themselves against HIV
They assume a more active role in social, economic and political decision-making throughout their lives

taken from the CARE newsletter!

Patches

I realized I have no pictures of my dog on my blog that was a complete oversight. Here we go!!!

Quotable Quote

Only those who will risk going to far can possibly find out how far you can go by T.S. Elliot

pictures from Bermuda

Quotable Quote from Akeelah and the Bee

I watche Akeelah and the Bee for the first time this past week while in Bermuda and the character of Akeelah stated this poem by Marianne Williamson that I thought was worthy of note and memorization;

'Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. '

Words of Wisdom

I was speaking with a friend and he made the following obervation about people that I thought I would share.

There are three types of minds in the world, they are:

1. Great Minds - they discuss ideas - they make things happen
2. Average minds - they discuss events - they watch things happen
3. Small Minds - they discuss people - they wonder what is happening

I thought it was pretty neat and wanted to share it!!!

Quotables Quotes

don't spend major time...with minor people

Career Aspirations

Years ago this older man at church said to me wouldn't it be nice to return in tithe five years from now what you currently make. And I thought to myself I would hope so. I was in graduate school and was therefore not making a whole lot.

As I was sitting at my desk and reviewing the federal pay scale (GS) and reflecting on my next career move I decided every 4 years I need to make twice as much I did at the initial year. For instance if I made 25,000 in 2008 I should be making 50,000 by 2012. I will keep you posted on my aspiration!!!!

Getting to know someone

After speaking with my family on Monday about what characteristics would be the ideal match me. My stepfather stated someone who is adventure minded. And I thought to myself he is right. I have not dated that type of person on average.

Questions to explore in getting to know someone

1. What is your favoriate meal of the day?
2. What is your favoriate group activity before or after that meal?
3. Would you like to do those two things we with me?

If you use these questions let me know how they go!!!!

My 32 nd Birthday

it is 8:23 am in the morning and it is my birthday. I asked all of my family and friends to pray and fast for me a career post/job in international development with a great organization/company, doing great work,with great people and with awesome compensation. I did not ask them to fast from food particularly but whatever would be a sacrifice for them to live without for a day. It could be food, it could be their cell phone, it could be TV or it could be their ipod. Just whatever each of them considered to be a sacrifice. I am really petitioning God for a change in jobs to do what I got my Master's to do.

It is amazing what my friends and family are fasting from. I am really touched. It awesome to have the love and support of friends and family. Thank you Father for the beauty of true friendship and family!!!

Sabbath Lesson for me March 29, 2008

It was probably not so much a lesson but a phrase in a song that I had not heard in a long time that really touch me. We had guest recording artist Gayle Jones Murphy at church this past sabbath and for the appeal she sang a song with these words:

"I have made my decision. I am going all the way with the Lord.'

That really got to me. and trully I have made my decision and I am going all the way with the Lord!!!!

I have been searching online for the song and artist to buy on itunes however have been unable to find it. If you know it please share it with me. Thanks!!!

Last Sabbath Lesson for me

I forgot to post last sabbaths lesson for me.

God does not birth a blessing that he cannot maintain!!!!! When God gives you a vision He will give you provision

Sabbath Lesson for me March 1, 2008

I went to Berean today. I am not yet a memeber we are waiting on West End to release me of sorts. However Paster Byrd spoke today and his sermon was paper or plastic and he had some profound points. One of them was that a war on terror can never be won. Especially when you continue to take people's civil liberties away. If we continue to occupy various countries in the Middle East or really anywhere on the world and attempt to force our level of governance on them the many residents of those countries will object. Lasting change among nations or individuals must come from with in. We can educate and advise nations and individuals but force will never work.

Add to my List of Places to Go!!

I now must add Dubai as one of my places to go. I listened to a CBS news story on the country and I realize I must go their.

Relationships

I was reminded by a dear friend that I deserve to be swept off my feet. Heavenly Father i want to be SWEPT!!!!!!!!!!!

Valentines Day

Its Valentines day which is a cool day but I cannot remember a time in my life where it was actually special. This time does not seem any different.

However I am not writing about that, I just wanted recognize the day. I was just reviewing kodak's photos page and I saw someones pictures from St. Petersburg Russia. I have always wanted to go there. I just wanted to add it to my places to go before I die. I want to go to St. Basil's cathedral. The architecture is amazing. I will go one day. I look forward to it.

My hair Straighten

A friend a work volunteered to pay for me to get my hair straightened and I must say I wish I had gotten it done earlier. I have added some pictures for your viewing pleasure.

SabbathQuotable Quotes from January 19, 2008

The joy of living is cathcing up with God's purpose for your life!!

I am at my best when I am fulfilling my purpose.

The only leverage the devil has in your past.

I thought each of these were profound in their own right. It really meant a lot to me!!!

Friday Night Dinner

My Hair cut and doo!

I got my hair blown out and braided this week and here are the pictures!

Photography Session #2

I was walking in my lawn, in the midst of over grown grass was this random flower. I thought iw as worthy of capturing and then my dad came to cut my grass and I asked him to spare it, there is remains.

Genius Award

I was reminded by my mom a couple of weeks ago how I had set goals for myself in my career and the steps to take to get there and what things had to be set aside to achieve them. I still have the goals the top ones being a USAID Country Chief or a U.S. Ambassador and the teach at Oakwood College however I no longer have the steps outlined of how to reach there. I was further reminded of this lack when I listened to NPR this morning and heard that the 2007 MacArthur Foundation Genius Award winners have been announced and furthur stunned I was not among the list. But seriously that is one of my goals. I want to be a Macarthur Genius Award Winner or at the least do something worthy of the award. and that I shall do. I said this for years however from this day forward I want it and plan to outline ways to achieve it. In addition I want to speak at the National Press Club Luncheon in Washington, DC on some profound topic of interest!

From the Reading Room of O'Magazine - September 07

Page 242.

In reviewing the book Like You'd Understand Anyway by Jim Shepard, Vince Passaro makes the following comparison.

'to be able to see people in pain, lost, ruinously mistaken, and to be able even then to love them and find them funny,marks the moment when the artist most closely resembles God - which is always, secretly the great artist's ultimate aim.

I thought this statement was poetic on levels I cannot express in words. I hope you see the same.

Relationships 101

I heard a thing on NPR about the stages of grief and I thought about how it is related to a relationship that ends. I have pasted it here for your viewing pleasure.

The stages Kubler-Ross identified are:

Denial (this isn't happening to me!)
Anger (why is this happening to me?)
Bargaining (I promise I'll be a better person if...)
Depression (I don't care anymore)
Acceptance (I'm ready for whatever comes)

God's Ideal

“Higher than the highest human thought can reach is God’s ideal for His children” (Education, by Ellen White page 18). ...

The cost of my Praise

There is song that CeCe Winans sing called Alabaster Box. The Alabaster Box speaks to a story in the Bible when Mary (not the mother of Jesus) poured out a expensive box of insense onto Jesus feet. In the midst of that song it makes the statement that you do not know the cost of my praise. We do not know most times the cost of someone's praise. We do not know what they have gone thru to get to the point where they are now. One only knows the cost of your own praise. Father I know the cost of my praise ( a little at least I know there is a veil that I cannot see behind of the many times you have sent angels to protect me from the devil's attack) and my continual pray is whatever it takes to save me.

Sabbath Lesson for Me #10

Today I went to Berean after receiving a message from Tara that she was driving up and would be attending and being there was trully a refresher for me. Pastor Mendinghall preached and in the midst of his sermon he said something that I used to always say to myself about school, jobs and just life in general. He spoke of a time in his life when he was struggling to follow God's leading and how he finally got to the place where he told God whatever doors he open I will go thru. I used to really take that to heart. I have been able to travel to Ghana, Ethiopia and Tanzania because I had that attitude. However recently I realized I have not been doing that. My job had a opening that normally would not have interest me but something got my attention about it and I thought about applying but then decided not to. I am thankful for the reminder. Father encourage me to knock on doors and whatever door you open I will go thru and you will keep me on the other side of it in Christ name Amen!!!!

My 31st Birthday Picture

my new addition

Definition

Someone asked me today what is love and remembered a phrase that I learned in school.

True love is a high and holy principle, altogether different in character from that love which is awakened by impulse and which suddenly dies when severely tested.

found in Patriarchs and Prophets chapter 15, page 176

S.M.A.R.T Goals

This week I attended a two day workshop with my job titled Situational Leadership. It addressed making SMART goals and I thought about my life and one of the goals I would like to accomplish by the time I am 33 years old, and that is to be married. I have highlighted the SMART concept along with the steps I plant to take to achieve my goal.

S- Specific---------------I want to be married by 33 years old
M-Measureable---------The number of dates I have that lead to subsequent dates
A-Attainable-----------Men exist so YES
R-Realistic------------- yes 2 years ( 1 year dating, 6months planning
T-Timely--------------- read below

April 2007 - May 2008 3 or more social enagements a month
June 2008 - Dating prospect
June 2009 - Engaged
December 31, 2009 - Wedding date

Types of social events include

dinner parties ( get invited all the time but opt not to go)
Activities
visit new church once a month
referrals from friends and family

My Valentines Day 2006

This Valetines I did not expect anything however my mom and Luther came over and surprized me brought me red tulips. It was the best!!! Take a look at them

Movie Quote: The Last King of Scotland

I have the privilege to go to the movies this past week with one of my Hunger Fellows and we saw the Last King of Scotland. I did not know anything about it until Forrest Whitaker won the Golden Globe for his role as Ida Amin. It was a powerful story of friendship, the conflicts that can result and coming to terms with the decision we all make.

In the movie the following is stated to Ida Amin when he thinks he is about to die:

If you are afraid of dieing that means you have something worth living for....

Life Quote

It’s never too late to be what you might have been.”

Mary Anne Evans

A Day of Loss

Today I did not go to church instead I got a phone call from my mom telling me that a close friend of mines' son died early this morning. It came as a great shock especially in the way in which he died. I just pray for my friend endurance he has gone thru so much in the past few years. The Lord knows what we can handle.

A Tribute to my Future Husband

This week the Lord allowed every man that I was uncertain of if I was over to come into my life for which I consider a test to see if was ready to meet the man that shall be my husband. It was so amazing to me that the Lord knows it is time and just wanted me to be sure because He already knew. This was amazing to me because of the way the Lord did it. He had been preping me for it for weeks by allowing my first love who anybody that knows me well knows who it is contact me a few weeks ago. I had not heard from him in this way in YEARSSSSSSSSSSs. I just had to smile and say devil get thee behind me.

This week it happened again times four!!! It started with Monday with the most recent person in my life (DO)well actually let me go back actually it was Saturday night I got a phone call from someone and I was not phased by him calling and actually was busy at the time and did not even talk to him which is amazing I know to him and I kind of shocked myself because when he has called in the past I would drop whatever I was doing and whomever I was with. Sunday no one but then Monday and the person that showed up at my door step uninvited but definitely welcome because I needed closure and wanted to know for myself that he was more of man than his actions stated. He told me how he had stopped by on Sunday and I did not answer actually I just did not hear him I was home all that day. Tuesdays person (RB) actually passed by me and I thought nothing of his pursuit and actually laughed at it. Wednesday was my first love again (SJ) by this time I knew who Thursdays person (KD) was going to be and sure enough he called that morning before I even had time to remember that I was expecting him. God is just so awesome. I thought I might get a person on Friday but then I again I knew I was so over him that nothing but Christ coming off the thrown would allow me to look at him twice really even once.

I was thankful that I had the opportunity to encounter all these men. It allowed me to see how God has called me and is preparing me for somebody much better than all these guys. I know my first love and the most recent man in my life each exemplified true character traits that will be evident and dominant in my future husband however he will be better and trully God's gift to me. Ellen White has a quote that states: Higher than the highest human thought is God's ideal for His children. The Lord has someone amazing that he is preparing for me and I wait in expection for him to show up because I know he is coming really soon. And as I wait for the Lord to bring us together I refuse to allow men of my past whom I know the Lord has not called to distract me in my preparation. I know he is going to be better than anything I can think. I am so thankful that God thinks of ME. of me of me. WOWOWOWOWOWOWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

January 1, 2007

It is January 1, 2007. I can only say I look forward to seeing where I am a year from today. I pray I am at a new job with a great organization/company doing great work with wonderful people. I also hope that I am more involved with my church.

Quotable Quote

I am at work and came across a quote that I had written down on one of my many notebook that I must have heard on my ipod or someone stated to me and thought it worthy to post.

We are not called to be popular but to be faithful.

Love Lesson #8

I hung out with two of my assistant today at the park. We had great weather today. We talked about our different relationships and I made a statement that has me thinking now.

How do you love someone enough?

Here is a picture of them at the park.

American Public Media

I am trully enjoying my new ipod. Not for music as most but for all the podcast I get to download.

I have American Public Media as one of my podcast. I was listening to it yesterday it present excerpts of a conference titled Vietnam and the Presidecy held at the John F Kennedy Library last. One of the most profound things that was said and applys to the current situation we ar ein in Iraq.

Said by Jack Valenti second assistant to President LB Johnson.

He stated three reason why we did not win the war in Vietnam (in hindsight)

1. Cannot win when public support declines. People grow tired of confusion and whose(war) end is nowhere in sight
2. Cannot win a war against an insurgency that springs form the population
3. To fight an enemy you have got to know the ancestral rythms, customs and traditionS
4. and when 40% of what the pentagon estimate is not trUE

I also must add that you cannot TRULLY win a war no matter how many troops you send if the people you are fighting for has a cause related to a deep religious belief. Peoples belief in their God/god will give them the endurance to do anything and even to die. The cause is greater than the situation.

Sabbath Health Lesson for Me

Today was health ministry day at West End and the speaker was Curtis Eakins. He made the following highlights that I will try to implement in my diet. If you want to hear the sermon in total feel free to click on the following link.

http://churchpond.com/cp05/ptv_westend_rebroadcast.htm


Journal of the American Dietic Association


certain fats clog arteries more than any other

3 top saturated fats that clog arteries ounce for ounce pound for pound
saturated fats once eaten coverts into cholesterol

1. cheese (usage gone up 145% since 1970) also have 200 300 mg of sodium
2. ground beeg (it goes up and down, ecoli goes down, akins diet goes up)
3. whole milk (has gone down people are buying 2%, skim etc.)

Each food is assigned a potential renal(kidney) acid load (PRAL) the lower the number the better the food is for your kidneys the higher the number the worse it is for your kidneys

1. fruits and vegetables have a negative number - great for kidney
2. whole grain have a plus one or plus two
3. pork, fish, lamb, beeg have a plus 7 -8 begin to stress kidney
4. cheese 18
5. egg yoke 23
6. mozarella 28
6. parmesam cheese 34

Friday Night Dinner

This week we had dinner at my house and I cooked Butternut Squash with Cumin Couscous. It turned out pretty good. I have a thing about the presentation of food. So here you gooooooooooooooo.

The Sabbath For Me

Well today I went to sabbath school and it was great. I recently changed sabbath school classes and then I went to a close friends grandmothers funeral. I realized that I had never gone to a funeral in my adult life. It was a interesting experience for me. I got thru it and I was happy to be available to a dear friend. Who is my best friend in Atlanta.

Sabbath Photo Session 2

Sabbath Photo Session

Quotable Quote from Joseph

in the midst of his therapy training he learned the following:


You can only help someone along emotionally as far as you have attained.....

Thoughts from the Sabbath School Lesson

This is taken from Monday, November 20th lesson, Referring to God's promise to give Abram a son.

Quote that I was thought was note worthy

Reminder God's mercy and grace don't cancel the call to faithful obedience (Romans 5:20-6:2)

Next Holiday Predictions

Sitting on the phone with my friend Joseph this Thanksgiving day in the year of our Lord 2006, we were chatting about predictions (targeted calculation....wish list if you will) of our lives for next year this time. So no further ado....

10. New Job working in international development
9. A trip abroad....Hopefully paid for by my company
8. Meaningful relationship with someone of the opposite sex (.ie a husband)
7. A New Car...Passat
6. 4 rooms furnished (which kind of contradicts with Dave Ramsey...but a sista's got to have furniture)
5. adherence to the Dave Ramsey Total Money Make Over
4. I would like to add biking to my weekly exercise routine (which will eventually led to a triathalon)
3. "Look-Good-Naked"...this is Joseph's motto for a healthy lifestyle
2. To be more active in my church
1. More mature walk with the lord

My Financial Break-Thru

I have been listening to Dave Ramsey the last few days and he gives steps for your financial breakthrough. I have listed them here for your convenience. His website is http://www.daveramsey.com/

Here are the steps:

Steps 1-6

1. save $1000
2. become debt free, start with your smallest debt first
3. 3-6 months expenses saved
3b. save for a house
4. Retirement
5. save for college for Kids
6. Pay off the house early

Photography Session #1

Today I made a plan to get back into photography for just the fun of it. It has not been fun for me a in while but today I pushed myself to get back into it. And these are a few of the pictures from that. I have a ways to go to get back where I was and beyond but this is the first step. I took pictures around my neighborhood. I was trying to capture symetry.

Quote of the Day

This can be applied to any part of life......

I left to leave.................


Feel free to interpret

Quote.....2

it is not perfection it is progress.

per Joseph

Sabbath Lesson for Me #9

Today I went to my church West End SDA Church

Pastor Calvin Preston spoke. Worship started off a little loud. The praise and worship team I believe was a little disoriented as to what Praise and Worship is for. It ended up being more of a concert in my opinion. However Pastor Preston was awesome. His sermons' key text was Genesis 13: 10 -12. It speak about Abraham and Lot going into different directions and how Lot pitched his tent toward Sodom. As you continue reading thru Genesis Lot begins to dwell in Sodom (Gene 14:12) and then Lot is at the Gate of Sodom (Gen, 19:1) signifying his prominence in the land and by the end of Genesis the angel of the Lord tells Lot to leave for God is going to destroy the city. The title of the sermon was pitching your tent toward Sodom.

It really spoke to me. The devil strokes us into sin. He does not just out right tempt us. He strokes us nd before us we are further from God then we ever thought we would be. Father help me not be stroked by the devil. I saw the devil do that to me this week however I claim victory over devils attempt to make me lost and stray away from God.

When you pitch your tent toward Sodom you loose. At the end Lot was not happy, his children loved Sodom and even his wifes' heart was there and she was lost, his spiritual life was gone and he was much poorer than when he first pitched his tent. Satan will not leave us until he breaks us or we break his hold by the word of God that strengthen us.

Father my greatest desire is to be saved. I want to experience true peace, companionship and love that I know only comes from a relationship with you. Please make me whole. Amen

Joseph and Richard

This is my best friend Joseph and his partner Richard. The video includes pictures of their recent trip to Brazil and their ski trip to Lake Tahoe.

Sabbath Lesson for Me #8

Well yesterday day (Sabbath) I went to West End the church in which as of last week I am now a member. Pastor Preston spoke. It was a great sermon.

The Title: Why does God not answer our prayers (key text Psalms 80:4-7)

He also gave the powerful accounts when God answered the prayer of his people as found in Joshua 10: tells the story of when Joshua asked God to allow the sun to stay up so they could finish fighting the Amorites and God did and II Kings 20: tells the story of Hezekiah pleaing that God would spare his life and God did and added 15 years to his life. When men and women pray to God hears and longs to answer for our good. I serve an awesome GOD.

He listed 5 reasons why God does not always answer our prayer:

1. We have the wrong Spirit (Luke 18:9- 13)
2. We fail to forgive others (Matthew 6: 14,15)
3. We regard sin in our heart, our pet sin, we defend our pet sin (Psalms 66:18)
4. We fail to submit to Biblical teachings (Proverbs 28:9)
5. Our prayers are inconsistent with God's will (Luke 22:42)

Father my prayer is that it is not important what I desire but you know what is best for me. I submit my life to Your will!!!

if you want to hear the sermon rebroadcast click on the link below and click on October 28th sermon.

http://churchpond.com/cp05/ptv_westend_rebroadcast.htm

Question

what does being in love look like?

Sabbath Lesson for me #7

I went to Berean SDA Church today. Pastor Carlton (Buddy) Byrd who is now the senior pastor spoke. It was good. I took away from the sermon how I may have failed some people who have entered and left my life. As a Christian I am to be a light in darkness. Not a flicker but a strong lasting light continually in communion with God. I feel sometimes I have become dim and in a sense compromised on what I believe. I must ask for forgiveness from those that I have done this with. They suspected that I was different and I was nothing but. Father forgive me for not reflecting your glory to led others to You.

I closed on my first home day. It was an interesting day. I started it by going for a short run and then I walked by the house to sit and look at it to make sure I wanted to buy. I could still back out and only loose $1000 compared to what I am going to pay for the house. I felt good about it and then left for the closing at 11:30 this morning. My mom came with me and she was a means of support and questions. I was thankful to have her. A few glitches came up but they were smoothed out thankfully. So by 1:30 I was the proud owner of this beautiful Victorian style house in the historic West End. I am thankful to God. This is what I wanted a house in the west end that did not require a tremendous amount of work, was affordable and a place I would be proud to call my own. I am excited about the many friends that I will get to share my home with and being apart of such a great community!

Quote.....................

Some things are just better passing thru

per Jackie per Elton John

thoughts by Leonard Nimoy

I have learned to want what I have.....


I value love because I have been lonely

Because I have tasted frustration I value fulfilment............

Sabbath Lesson for me #6

Well I went to West End today and it was good but I got lessons all day and not all of them happened in church. However the pastor did bring out one in a list of pointers to make one more intentionally focused;

pointer: Take the time to figure out what you really want

I ask this question on two levels of my life that are currently in a state of ughhhhhhhhh my personal life and my career.

For my personal life I know what I want I just have to come to terms in my mind that I do not have to fast forward the situation to get it. If it is attained to fast I will not appreciate the value of what it took to get there. Father allow me to have peace in being still.


For my career. I have invested tens of thousand of dollars in an education that I am not allowing to make a return. The whole Michigan/Tanzania situation did throw me but I need to get back in. Father return to me the passion and motivation that seems to be buried in me under a lot of hurt. I feel you giving it to please allow me to see the sunrise.

Summer Reading Update

Well I did finish reading Angels and Demons however I have not touched Gilead and I am only still half way thru The Miseducation of the Negro. I give myself till the end of July. Well shall see. Angels and Demons was really good. It is actually more controversial to me than the DaVinci Code. I think if that was made into a movie the Catholic Church would really pulls its strings at the highest levels to put a stop to. Maybe it has.........

He's Just Not That Into You

This is the title of a book writtejn by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tucillo. I finished reading it in one day is was that good. It is written in a Dear Greg format where he addresses the issue in the letter. The following are some of the many pointers that I got from the book that I have trully grown from a resort of reading. I actually checked the book out of the library however I feel I will definitely have to go buy it to have in my personal library to reflect on again and again.

1. Deal with men as they are not how you'd like them to be.

2. Don't you want the guy who'll forget about all the other things in his life before he forgets about you? page 26

3. Calling when you say you're going to is the very first brick in the house you are building of love and trust. page 27 You should be dating a man who's at least as good as his word. page 28

4. Men are never to busy to get what they want. page 30

5. Meeting someone you like and dating him is supposed to make you feel better no worse. page 32

6. Why should you feel honored for getting scraps of his time. page 40

7. The reason it's so painful when someone disappears its you have to face the fact that the person you loved had probably left you a long time before he grabbed his coat and scrammed. (key to me) page 113

8. But I guess the hope is that when a guy no longer wants to communicate with me and doesn't have the manners or courage to tell me that to my face, he's given me all the information I need. (this spoke to my heard deeply based on a current situation I an trying to see myself thru)page 115


One keep point the writers make in the opening pages (page 8) is that the reason we allow our shelves to go thru such drama is because every relationship we admise burst with a greatness that we hope to have in our own life. and the more you value yourself, the more change you'll have of getting it.

THe Fourth of July

A friend of mine referred me to a speech given by Frederick Douglas about his feeling about celebrating the United States Independence - commonly called the 4th of July. I must give this speech context. When the United States started celebrating the 4th in 1776, African Americans were slaves and thus were not at liberty to enjoy the so called independence of fellow whites.

The following is an excert from a speech Frederick Douglas gave on July 5, 1852 titled 'The Meaning of the 4th of July for the Negro.'

What, to the American slave, is your Fourth of July? I answer: a day that reveals to him, more than all other days in the year, the gross injustice and cruelty to which he is the constant victim. To him, your celebration is a sham; your boasted liberty, an unholy license; your national greatness, swelling vanity; your sounds of rejoicing are empty and heartless; your denunciation of tyrants, brass-fronted impudence; your shouts of liberty and equality, hollow mockery; your prayers and hymns, your sermons and thanksgivings, with all your religious parade and solemnity, are, to Him, mere bombast, fraud, deception, impiety, and hypocrisy-a thin veil to cover up crimes which would disgrace a nation of savages. There is not a nation of savages. There is not a nation on the earth guilty of practices more shocking and bloody than are the people of the United States at this very hour.

Go where you may, search where you will, roam through all the monarchies and despotisms- of the Old World, travel through South America, search out every abuse, and when you have found the last, lay your facts by the side of the everyday practices of this nation, and you will say with me that, for revolting barbarity and shameless hypocrisy, America reigns without a rival.

For the complete text of the speech please visit the following website:

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/aia/part4/4h2927t.html

Love Lesson #9

Maybe he's just not that into you

a relationship book title by Greg Behrendt, Liz Tuccillo and I thought it was pretty interesting concept and I was wondering when do you know that someone is really no longer interested in you.

Movie Quote: Paradise Now

Sometimes the most courageous act is the one you do not do!

Love and Life Lesson

I have no regrets I made the best decision I know based on the information I had at the time!

A book that continues to give

I read many books and decided today due to a friends ambitions for the summer to set some goals of my own and that is to read two books a month. So I started today by reading a book that has gotten me thru many ups and downs in my life it is Oh the Places You'll Go by Dr. Seuss. I will read more thought provoking books however I had a moment of reflection today that required me to be reminded of the places I have gone and the places I will go. My mountain is waiting and I plan to uproot it, move it and replant it on my own terms.

Books for the month of June are

This Miseducation of the Negro by Carter G. Woodson, Gilead by Marilynne Robinson and Angels and Demons by Dan Brown

Life Lesson #13

You may think you are ready to be hurt again but I realized today more than ever that one can never be prepared to be hurt or disappointed. When someone hurts or disappoints you it hits to the core of your sole but then the question lingers would you enter into it again if you knew the end result. Essentially was it worth it?