Wednesday, April 02, 2014
Sunday, March 30, 2014
I was in New Mexico last week on a business trip! I realized I like greenary, so the chances of me ever living in the desert are slim. Here are a few pictures.
I completed publix half marathon last week! It was great, training makes all the difference. I realize I could really do a full marathon if I wanted but I think I will wait a while on that one. I would really want someone to run along side me for that one. I did have two friends join me for Publix and it was a lot of fun! I have selected a few pictures below!
Monday, March 10, 2014
The following are the highlights of a book that John Mallory has published. I thought it has some poignant details worthy of sharing
Why Men Marry Some Women And Not Others
By: John T. Molloy -
This book is based on over 3,000 interviews conducted by Molloy and
his researchers. They interviewed couples coming out of marriage
license bureaus, and then a control group. The results reflect the
statistical tendencies of marriage. Many of the lessons are common
sense, but what sets this book apart is its specificity and the
statistical backup for its assertions.
The Six Basic Guidelines For Women To Get Married
Insist on it.
If you find yourself in a dead-end relationship, move on.
Love yourself first.
Commit yourself to the idea of getting married
Keep in shape, watch your weight, and take care of your appearance
Time is running out--use time wisely in your search for the marrying man
To maximize your chances of marrying, only date the marrying kind:
Most men will not consider marriage before they reach the age of commitment
For 80% of high school graduates, 23
For 80% of college graduates, 26
For college men, the high-commitment period is 28-33
For men who go to graduate school, 30-36
After the age of 37-38, the chances that he'll commit drops
dramatically. After 43, it drops even more
A 40+ man who has been married before is more likely to remarry than
an equivalent bachelor is to marry
Most men will not contemplate marriage until they have been working
and living as independent adults for several years (hence the
Men become likely to marry after they become uncomfortable with the
E.g. They realize that they've become the sleazy old guys who hang out
at the bars and hit on younger girls
Men do have a biological clock, based on their desire to be an active
father (especially to their sons)
Misc. negative traits and warning signs
Men who see marriage as a financial arrangement in which women have
the most to gain
Men whose parents divorced when they were young
Men who live with their parents
Other key facts
Men often marry women whose religion, politics, values, and
socioeconomic status match theirs
Men whose friends and siblings are married are more likely to marry
60% of the newly married men reported that they had a friend who had
married within the last year.
Those men who didn't have any married male friends were 2-3 times as
likely to say that they weren't ready to marry.
The majority of men who had seen their friends get married said that
if they met the right woman, they'd think seriously about getting
Avoid stringers, men who string along women but never commit. To
filter them out, insist that he commit after six months. Then stick to
it, no matter what excuses he gives.
Consider unpolished jewels, men who are just as nice, intelligent,
hard-working, and successful, but lack looks, height, or social
a. 88% of men over 50 who were marrying for the first time were
marrying divorced women. The women told the researchers that they had
already tried the tall, suave, type, and he didn't make a very good
First impressions are important
1. Men are attracted by the physical, but marry character
a. Newly engaged men said that what attracted them to their fiancées
was how classy, positive, energetic, enthusiastic, and upbeat their
future wives were.
i. While 68% gave a physical description of their fiancée, only 20%
said that what attracted them was how gorgeous and sexy their fiancée
was. Over 60% described their personalities, even if the women in
question were very beautiful.
b. Therefore, be positive!
2. All wives are trophy wives--men marry women whom they admire and
like to show off (but not for their physical appearance)
3. Dressing appropriately sends the message, "I am wife material." Men
marry women they perceive as "situational virgins" who move easily in
a. Editor's note: In other words, don't dress like a ho. Men see a
sexy outfit as an invitation to have sex.
b. Most men decide within 10 minutes of meeting a woman if she's
appropriate for marriage, or just for a casual affair.
c. Over 80% of men said or bragged that their fiancée was the kind of
woman they were proud to introduce to friends and family
d. Over 70% of men said that they knew that their future bride was a
"nice girl" the minute they met
e. Only 7 out of 2,000 men interviewed said that their fiancée was
dressed in a very sexy outfit when they met.
4. If you want to marry a man who is more attractive than you, go for
a very good-looking man because he will actually place less emphasis
on looks. Women see their own looks as a gift of nature equal to or
superior to brains and talent. In contrast, 67% of very good-looking
men think of their looks as a minor asset, and say they would rather
be smart, rich, or talented. Do the following:
a. Approach him. Very attractive men don't make passes at women
because they don't have to.
b. Let him put you on a pedestal. Don't treat him any differently than
you would another man, just because he's good-looking.
c. Let him see your talents and accomplishments. Very good-looking men
often marry women who have qualities they lack--education, professional
accomplishment, social standing, and ambition.
d. Make demands on him. Advise him to go back to school or get a better job.
5. Making a good impression on his family is almost as important as
making a good impression on him.
a. 5% said that it was their family that had convinced them that the
woman was something special
b. 30% said that their family's positive opinion had influenced them
What kind of women get married?
1. Women with a large number of female friends are more likely to
marry than women with a large number of male friends
a. Men don't go out of their way to introduce their female friends to other men
2. If you reach 30 and want to get married, you have to make finding a
husband a primary goal. Once your friends start getting married, they
are less likely to have an active social life with you. Don't be the
last one off the bus!
3. Women who get married, even those with high-powered careers, make
getting married a priority that they work at.
4. The larger the number of single men and women you work with, the
better your chances of marrying
a. If you work in an industry with few eligible men (e.g. the fashion
industry, where most male colleagues are gay), or have other
disadvantages, you'll have to work harder outside of work to overcome
them. It's unfair, but suck it up.
5. Women with unrealistic expectations often remain single
a. Much of the time, these expectations are imposed by others, who
think that the men she brings home aren't "good enough for her."
b. Give men a second chance--20% of brides to be said that they didn't
like their husband when they first met him.
6. Self-confident men are attracted to accomplished, self-assured, and
7. Women who waste their time with stringers or men who don't care for
them hurt their chances of marrying
a. Women who marry refer to the men who broke up with them as losers.
Women who don't marry often make men who don't reciprocate their
feelings the center of their universe and still speak well of them.
b. Don't date married or gay men.
8. Women who live with their parents are less likely to marry
9. Being slender attracts more men, therefore increasing your chances to marry
10. Women who put effort into looking their best are more likely to
marry than those who don't
11. However, men find women who are active and don't spend all of
their time primping more attractive
12. Women who make an effort to seek out the company of single men are
more likely to marry
a. Women who marry date more frequently than those who don't, even
it's Mr. Wrong.
b. Women who marry are three times as likely to participate in
masculine activities in which they had no real interest.
c. Women who marry are twice as likely to have made lifestyle
sacrifices (changing jobs or moving) to meet eligible men.
13. Women who have active social lives are more likely to marry
a. Go out on Friday and Saturday, when other single people go out
The stages in a relationship
1: Living up to expectations
Men believe that they can size up a woman in 5 minutes. They're
usually wrong. If a man doesn't call, it's because he realizes that he
made a mistake.
2: Getting to know you. The following types of women are more like to
get asked out on additional dates
a. Women who date more extensively
b. Women who have male friends or brothers (and thus have a better
understanding of men)
c. Women who worry less about impressing their dates and more about having fun
d. Women who don't have sex on the first date
e. Women who object when they don't approve of the man's plans
f. Women who are friendly and positive
g. Women who are a good audience and show interest and/or a concern
for his welfare
Sidebar: Why men don't call
As men see it, they don't need a reason not to call. They do need a
reason to call.
The woman gets too serious too soon
The woman is not as positive as they had thought.
90% of men find catty remarks a turnoff
3: Needs and lifestyles
This stage is about separating attraction from compatibility.
If your lifestyles aren't compatible, end the relationship as quickly
and painlessly as possible
4: Steady dating (range: 3 weeks to 3 months)
Men don't typically think of themselves as dating until after 4-6 dates
Women typically think of themselves as dating after 2-3 dates, hence the problem
The primary reason men drop women during the first month or two is
that the women come on too strong, too soon.
50% of men have broken up with a woman because she got serious prematurely
Never speak of marriage, children, or your future together for the
first 6 dates.
5: Romancing the woman
Men are always trying to please the women they like. Just relax and
enjoy your stay on the pedestal (because it's likely to be brief).
6: Getting comfortable (3 months+). This is the stage where the couple
stop feeling they have to be on their best behavior and start being
The fact that your man doesn't bring you roses, but instead plops on
your couch to watch TV and takes you for granted is actually a natural
stage and the hallmark of almost all serious relationships--not a
But, don't be a doormat. If you don't complain, or, even worse, try to
do everything for him, it will make him think you are just there for
Women who withhold doing household chores usually get more respect from men
The women who insist on being treated well are 2x as likely to end up
marrying their man. No one marries a servant.
Insist on being monogamous
7: Committed couplehood (range: 6 months to 1 year; 73% said that
within 9 months, their partner had become the center of their lives).
Put their partners interests above their friends and family
If his family member makes a negative comment about you, he should
defend you. 79% of marrying men said that they came to their
Hang out together without any particular plans. When just being
together, you are a successful couple.
8: Premarital couplehood.
Committed couples are:
Openly affectionate, and make sacrifices for each other
Become confidants. More than 90% of couples who get married are.
But remember that men are sensitive to criticisms of their family, and
men don't share their feelings easily
9: The proposal stage
Most men propose after going out with a woman for 18 months.
If at the end of 22 months, a man has not proposed, the chances that
he will start to diminish.
For 3.5 years, the chances diminish gradually. After that, it plunges.
After 7 years, your chances are virtually zero.
Speaking of Marriage
1. Men who discuss marriage are more likely to propose
2. If you want to discuss marriage, you're going to have to bring the
subject up, because many men never will
3. 73% of marrying women said that they put pressure on their man to propose
4. If a woman is convinced that marriage is essential to her
happiness, she is more likely to marry.
a. If a man is convinced that being married is essential to a woman's
happiness, he is more likely to propose
5. When a man who has been dating a woman for months says he hasn't
thought of marriage, he's probably just being honest. Men don't think
about these things.
a. 1/3 of husbands who had said no at first had forgotten that they did so
b. 2/3 remembered, but most thought it wasn't a big deal.
c. When told that saying this upset their wives, the men generally
responded, "What did she want me to do, lie to her?"
d. More than 90% of men who said they weren't ready didn't think the
answer was a rejection, just a fact.
e. The best response is, "Maybe it's time for you to think about it."
f. Statistically, this is actually one of the most encouraging answers
a woman can receive; many of these men proposed within 4 months.
6. Men don't get subtle hints--a woman has to discuss marriage directly
and, to make sure he gets the point, ask follow-up questions.
7. When a man says he isn't ready, it usually doesn't mean he will never marry.
Often, it's because they don't have enough money.
8. Men rarely respond positively when challenged.
a. Over 50% of men say that when presented with a choice, "Marry me or
get lost," they chose to get lost.
b. Over 50% of men say that when a woman walks out, they let her go.
c. Instead, come back to the subject later. Send the message, "I love
you, but I need marriage." Don't let them off the hook.
i. "How could you do this to me? You hurt me."
ii. "The reason I'm so hurt is that I love you."
Marrying after 40
1. The best places to meet eligible men are clubs and groups based on
common interests. Join organization that have single men as members.
a. 21% of engaged women over 40 said that they had met their fiancée
at an athletic club
b. Sports clubs that focus on activities that attract singles (trips,
bicycling) are best
c. Next best are tennis, and golf.
d. Third come professional or social organizations that are
overwhelmingly male, like engineering associations or collectors of
e. Fourth come organizations that have a singles scene, or sponsor
events that give singles a chance to socialize with other club
f. Dances, picnics, and charity golf or tennis tournaments are also a
good place to meet men.
2. Have an active social life
a. Women who go out twice a week, even just to dine with other women
or do volunteer work, are 3x as likely to marry than those who don't
b. Going out three times a week boosts your chances even further.
c. However, going out more than 5 nights a week decreases your chances.
3. Though men often date women who are much younger, they usually
marry someone close to their own age.
4. The most common reason men over 40 were attracted to their fiancées
was that they took good care of themselves. So stay in shape!
5. When asked what attracted them to their fiancées, younger men cite
virtue, talent, or accomplishments. 62% of men over forty cited
"niceness" (congeniality, agreeableness, a relaxed, low-maintenance
attitude, and acts of kindness).
6. Older men may be in a hurry to get married; delay them, don't dump
them, if you aren't ready yet.
7. Men who attend religious services are more likely to marry.
Divorced men, widowers, and single fathers
1. Young widowers without children are the most marriageable men on earth
2. Single fathers with young children have little or no energy for a social life
3. Most widowers are not ready for a relationship until 2 years after
their wife passed away
4. Men whose wives died of lingering or painful illnesses are less
likely to remarry.
5. The more amicable a man's divorce, the more likely he is to remarry
6. The younger a man is, the more likely he is to remarry
Wednesday, January 01, 2014
I find myself not knowing where to start for that reason this 2013 in review will be short and sweet. I began the year settling into a new job only to be offered another one about three months into the year. The Lord blesses us above and beyond what we think or imagine. I committed this year to running a 5k or longer race a month and I did. I even trained for my first half marathon and completed it in October. It almost makes me want to train for a full marathon but I have not gotten that running ambition yet. I have a weight goal that I would like to reach by my birthday in April, to position me to join the U.S. Public Health Service once they open up applications for MPH’s, which I pray occurs in 2014, otherwise I will just have to get a doctorate degree LOL.
Considering, I began 2013 and now ending 2013 without a serious relationship, I can justly say my personal life has been uneventful and when it was eventful it only showed how insignificant it really was. On a more personal note I have committed more than ever before to become debt free ( not that I have a lot but know one bachelors and two Master’s is not cheap)including my house in ten years, by God’s grace and my commitment it will be done, stay tuned.
As for my family all and all everyone is good. My dad had a medical scare and my mom had a life changing experience that made me come face to face to the fact that my parents are officially OLD and that means I am really getting OLDER. My brother, sister in law, nephew and niece are all well, they have a new addition coming in May, 2014, wooohoooo!!!
My friends and family as always continue to be the best part of every year. They are my counsel, a listening ear, a calming presence and the ever present comedian when I need one. A close friend of mine whom I went to high school and college with was diagnosed with POEMS syndrome(rare disorder of the blood that affects the body systems and causes damage to the nerves). Her experience has touched me in a number of ways and we start the year with her beginning intense chemotherapy. Every time I think of her I just pray for her and her family. The concept of praying for her when I think of her has caused me to do the same for everyone in my life when I think of them or just when I encounter various people in my day to day. It is very comforting, for only God can solve every situation in our lives, we are just feeble humans with finite minds, created by a God who is infinite! Happy New Year!
Wednesday, December 25, 2013
My family has a tradition of pooling our resources and making bags filled with t shirts, socks, hats, underwear, personal hygeine products and a few edible items for the homeless Christmas Eve and distributing them to the homeless Christmas morning in downtown Atlanta. Here is some of our prep. I did not go out this year to pass them out I opted to stay at home and watch my niece and make her a little skirt and breakfast for my weary family who braved the cold dedicated to the cause!
My Holiday Party was a few weeks ago however I realized I did not share it on here. I struggled with what activity we should do. The options I had was making an gingerbread house that I found at Williams Sonoma or a wreath kit I found at Paper Source. I sent out a poll to the group of attendees and they choose the wreath kit. I had them select the one they wanted and here are a few pictures of what this beautiful group of ladies created. I would be remissed if I did not mention that the wreath making was a task so much so it went partily over my scheduled party time and the ladies ended up taking they half completed wreaths home to finish. They were not detoured a few stayed up late at their house to finish. I am dysfunctional after 9 and delirious after 10 which is about the time they all left. Oh because I mentioned from my last post about the Beltline challenge, I came in second place on weight loss and no prize for me but I was proud of myself!!!
Saturday, December 07, 2013
Completed my December 10k my final run for 2013. Woohooo I ran all four runs of the Beltline running series. We shall see if I won. I was In forth place before the run. The challenge looked at weight loss, speed and number of runs. The winner will be announced this week. Stay Tuned! I did learn that I have loss 12 pounds since the challenge started in April. Woohooo! Finished today's run on one hour and nine minutes. My goal was one hour and ten!!!